Toronto Maple Leaf jokes

So because the Toronto Maple Leafs havent won in seven games, the Toronto Star decided to have some fun.

They asked readers to send in their favourite Leaf jokes (thank to Dennis for the story).

You can read the full list here.

Here are my top 15 favourites:

15. What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring? A thief.

14. What’s the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a triangle? A triangle has 3 points.

13. What does Mike Komisarek and Timmins, Ontario have in common? They are both Minus 25 come christmas.

12. Two guys are camping out in the Muskokas, sitting around a fire at night and relaxing. Suddenly one of them sits bolt upright and shouts “DAMMIT! The Leafs lost!” His friend, impressed with his friends psychic ability asked “How do you know?” His friend replied, “It’s after 10:00 pm.”

11. The plight of the Leafs is not amusing after what’s happened with Vesa Toskala this morning. I appreciate we are all down on the team but when a player becomes suicidal from their performance (and the media’s response to it) then we should all rally together behind him. As most of you know, Toskala tried to commit suicide last night, by standing on the train tracks just south of Dupont. Thankfully, thankfully, the train went through his legs.

10. As a non-Leafs fan, I’ve always admired that slogan MLSE came up with…”The Passion That Unites Us All”. You have to give them credit, that’s a pretty clever way of saying “Misery Loves Company”.

9. Three men show up at the pearly gates to be interviewed by St. Peter. The 1st one tells Peter that his IQ is 155. Peter sends him to help out Einstein. 2nd guy’s IQ is 152. He’s sent to work on a project with Copernicus. 3rd guy says his IQ is 75. St. Peter says “How bout them Leafs eh”.

8. Luke Schenn showed up at his parent’s house, and swung the door open. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. “So, how did you do son?” he asked. “You’ll never believe it!” Luke said. “I was responsible for the winning goal!” “Really? How’d you do that?” “I stood their while their player went around me.”

7. I was heading to the fridge to grab a beer and I swear Komisarek hooked me!

6. What do the Leafs and a TV evangelist have in common? They each have the ability to make 20,000 people stand up and yell “Jesus Christ!”

5. How are a box of Tampons and the Leafs alike? They’re only good for one period.

4. A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Leaf fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Leaf fans too. Not really knowing what a Leaf fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because. I’m not a Leaf fan.” Then, asks the teacher, what are you? “Why I’m proud to be a Montreal Canadien fan,” boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Canadien fan. “Well, My Dad and Mom are Canadien fans, and I’m a Canadien fan too.” The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if your Mom was a moron and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” A pause and a smile. “Then,” says the girl, “I’d be a Leaf fan!”

3. The other day was take your child to work day. The Leafs had a fun time, played a little scrimmage against their sons and daughters. Unfortunately they lost, 5-3.

2. One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are. The teacher asks the class, “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?” Billy raises up his hand and says, “Yeah, Pennsylvania!”. The teacher replies, “Very good, Billy!, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?” Suzy raises her hand and says, “That’s in Michigan!” The teacher again says, “Very good.” Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, “Where’s Toronto?” Tommy raises his hand and says, “Oh Oh Pick me!!!, I know?” The teacher says, “OK, Tommy where is Toronto?” “Last place.”

1. Hamilton may not have a team yet, but they’re only one point behind the Leafs!

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5 Comments

Filed under Sports blogs I like

5 responses to “Toronto Maple Leaf jokes

  1. Cheryl

    These are hilarious!! Thanks for sharing, Tom. We may not cheer for the same team but we definitely have our distaste for the Leafs in common. 🙂

  2. The more I read it, the more it impresses me. I don’t know how I ever worked without hilarious and funny things in our life, Life would be so much easier especially when there’s a jokes here and there. Being funny is nice because a lot of serious people are lacking with this kind of behavior that is why they are much look older. I would like to thank you for your outstanding blog post. Keep it up! Awesome!

  3. Richard

    what does a MapleLeafs fan do when the Leafs win the cup? He shuts down his playstation.

  4. Michael Faldeglim

    Name two ways the Maple Leafs are anything like maple leaves.

    (A) They move at one-octillionth the speed of frozen pancake syrup.
    (B) They’ve decayed beyond human comprehension and smelled horrendous while on that job over the last 44 years.

  5. ted golden

    I was a Maple Leaf fan until they traded the “Big M” toDetroit. They have not won the Cup since. You’ve heard of “the curse of Babe Ruth” eh. 43 years and counting.

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