With the 27th installment of Wrestlemania almost upon us, I thought it would be fun to make some predictions.
Although I’ve been following wrestling the past couple of years, it’s only recently I started watching Raw again, and I still don’t watch Smackdown. So it should be pretty telling on the predictability of wrestling if a casual fan is able to predict this stuff with reasonable results.
World Heavyweight Championship Match- Edge vs Alberto Del Rio
Like I mentioned above, I don’t watch Smackdown. I don’t read online stuff, so I’m a little lost when it comes to the Friday night program. And the first time I even heard of Del Rio was at the Royal Rumble, when he won.. But after watching his victory there, and seeing him twice more on Raw, I have come to three conclusions about the guy.
1) I don’t like him. I don’t like his matches. I don’t like his finishing move. I don’t like his character. And not like a “I hate Randy Orton as a heel because he’s good at it” type, but more of a “I don’t like watching Great Khali matches either.”
2) I don’t like his entrance. It’s too long. You could have another match on Raw by the time he comes to the ring. And in a car? I’m sorry, but so many people have come to ring on various modes of transportation over the past 10 years, it’s not special anymore. There was Eddie Guerrero, JBL, Undertaker, the MexiCools, Steve Austin on pretty much everything you can think of (Monster Truck, Zamboni, Beer Truck). And with Ricardo Rodriguez taking about five minutes for the introduction is too much. Why don’t opponents just knock him out at the beginning of the match to shut him up?
3) He’s going to win the title on Sunday. If there’s one thing the WWE has been about in the past few years, it’s giving the title to young guys to prove critics wrong that they don’t always have the same people win it. That’s why we’ve seen wrestlers like Jack Swagger, Sheamus and the Miz win one of the top two titles in the past couple of years. Of course, those guys always go on to lose it to guys like Edge, Randy Orton, HHH or John Cena. But the intent is there.
Of course, all I need to know about Edge is that Christian is in his corner. The last time I saw the two of them together, Christian was on Raw calling out Edge for not actually being a good guy and not wanting to please the fans, saying it was a work, which Edge admitted. I think Christian screws Edge out of the title, even if accidentally.
WWE Championship match- The Miz vs John Cena
Wait, shouldn’t this have been John Morrison versus John Cena? What happened? A couple of years ago, when Morrison and the Miz were tag team champions, everyone was talking about how great Morrison was, and how he would be the next big thing, while the Miz would be stuck in mid-tier status the rest of his life. All that was missing was Morrison throwing the Miz through a barbershop window.
But somehow, it was the Miz who became the WWE champion, while Morrison gets to team up with Snooki. How did this happen?
Regardless, Cena has this title locked up. There’s no way the WWE goes forward with both The Miz and Alberto Del Rio as champions. The Rock won’t interfere in the match until afterwards, at which point he’ll give Cena a Rock Bottom.
Undertaker vs Triple H
What’s missing from this match is the fact that there’s been no mention of their match from Wrestlemania 17. Shouldn’t that be mentioned all the time by the Undertaker? When HHH says he’s going to destroy the Undertaker, Taker should respond with “You had your chance.” Of course, HHH can always talk about how he’s improved since then, has more experience, and is better prepared.
There’s a chance Shawn Michaels interferes this weekend, wanting to beat the Undertaker after two consecutive Wrestlemania losses, including his retirement match. But I think the Undertaker wins the match. If there’s ever a time when the Undertaker loses his Wrestlemania match, it should be to a younger wrestler like Randy Orton, Edge or CM Punk.
Randy Orton vs CM Punk
I’m leaning towards CM Punk here. The WWE did an okay job with Orton taking out each member of Nexus (seriously, what’s the point of having a group if one person can systematically take out your whole organization). But I think if Punk, and Nexus by proxy, is going to be taken seriously, then Punk needs to pick the victory.
Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole
The most predictable match there is terms of how it plays out. Jack Swagger ticks off Steve Austin, and gets the Stone Cold Stunner. At some point, Cole will also get the stunner. The crowd will go nuts, because it’s not like it’s something they haven’t seen the last 100 times Austin has made an appearance. It’s the most tired act in wrestling.
Although this is Lawler’s first Wrestlemania match, and the sentimental vote is for him, I think Cole pulls this out, which will make him more of a braggart on Raw.
As a side note, Cole is the best announcer in the WWE right now, and the best one they’ve had in quite a while. It’s been too long since there was a pure heel announcer. I know some are tired of Cole, but when you look at the best broadcasting duos, there was always a heel announcer (Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura, and Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler, when Lawler was a heel).
Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
This will probably be the opening match. And I think Mysterio takes it. I don’t know enough about this feud to know what is going on, so I’ll leave it at that.
John Morrison, Trish Stratus and Snooki vs Dolph Ziggler and Lay-Cool
Celebrities always win their Wrestlemania match. So too will Snooki’s team, although she won’t be involved much in the actual match.
Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan
Man, Sheamus has fallen a lot in a year. This time a year ago, he was in a feud with Triple H, was considered a top contender for the main title, and was injuring people (storyline-wise). Now, he’s just off a major losing streak, is the US champion, got creamed by Triple H a couple of weeks ago, and isn’t considered that much of a threat to the main title. I still think he’ll win the match, but what a difference a year makes.
Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs Wade Barrett, Ezekiel Jackson, Heath Slater
The Big Show is 2-8 in Wrestlemania matches. Why do I get the feeling he’s going to be 2-9 following this match? Much like Nexus, it doesn’t make sense to have a big bad group of wrestlers, like the Core in this case, only to have them lose big matches. When you look at the most successful factions over the years (Four Horsemen, NWO, DX, Evolution, etc.), they all won the big matches. The less-than-successful factions (WCW invasion group The Alliance, Human Oddities, Million Dollar Corporation, etc.) couldn’t win unless it was against lower-card wrestlers. If the WWE is serious about the Core, then they need to have them pull off victory.