So I watched the Miss Universe pageant the other day.
Or more correctly, it was on in the background as my wife watched it and I played online poker.
It seemed to be nothing but one long ad. Oh look, the contestants are at a hotel frolicking in a pool. There there are at a restaurant. Here they come with their fancy costumes.
It was nothing but Las Vegas this, and Las Vegas that. Quite dull, actually. Even the swimsuit competition was tedious.
Jimena Navarrete, from Mexico, won the whole thing, which was a total shock to my wife. She thought Navarrete would come in fifth after the question and answer. (Navarrete was basically asked what one major thing does she regret, and how has that helped her become who she is. She responded that she has led the perfect life, and has no regrets).
But at the end, I was left wondering where the talent portion was. Didn’t these things used to have a talent portion?
If not, then they should. Because as it is now, there’s an evening gown part, a swimsuit part, a question and answer part which half of them can’t answer directly because English isn’t their first language, some sort of dance-off (or a rehearsed dance: whatever), and 87 minutes of endorsements.
Oh, and five minutes of host Natalie Morales elbowing co-host Bret Michaels to get him to stop staring at the girls and pay attention to the screen. (As another sidenote: Could someone please tell Bret Michaels that he doesn’t actually need to eat the microphone when he talks into it?).
They really need to trim down a lot of the other stuff, and bring back the talent portion.
(Also, could someone please explain to me how they choose the judges for this? Jane Seymour and Stephen Baldwin? Really? They couldn’t get someone who has actually had a starring role in something in the past five years?).