Salt: A review

So the other day, my wife and I decided to go see a movie. I wanted to see Dinner with the Schmucks. My wife wanted to see Salt.

Of course, I lost out. So off to Salt we went.

And if you plan on seeing it, don’t. It’s not a good movie. I can’t actually believe all the good reviews it has been getting. Roger Ebert, for example, gave it four out of four stars, despite writing “It’s gloriously absurd. This movie has holes in it big enough to drive the whole movie through. The laws of physics seem to be suspended here the same way as in a Road Runner cartoon.”

I’m sorry, but the movie was bland and predictable.  And those plot holes? Kind of important.

I’m not going to go into all the details. Basically, in the movie, Angelina Jolie’s character, a CIA agent named Evelyn Salt, is accused of being a Russian spy. Mayhem ensues.

Without giving too much away, there’s a scene where the character is accused of killing the Russian president after breaking into a secured area and taking down about 15 trained guys. Of course, with the CIA involved, secret service, the Russian authorities and what not, what happens when the murderer is captured? They’re taken away in a convoy of three NYPD police cars! Seriously? That’s it? I wonder if the person if going to escape with protection like that? Yeesh.

Like I said, there were parts that were very predictable. If you pay even the slightest bit attention, you’ll figure it out, even as things are happening.

I would give this movie one out of five stars.

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