A letter to Marc-Andre Bergeron

Dear Marc,

I'm sorry Marc, but it's over.

Hi there. How are things?

I’m hoping this letter finds you well. I wanted to tell you this in person, but I thought this would be less awkward.

I’m not really to sure how to put this best, so I’ll come straight out and say it.

Marc, it’s over.

I’m sorry. When we started this relationship, I had such high hopes. There was such promise. Your offensive upside sent shivers down my spine.

I was so willing to accept you, I was willing to overlook those problems that obviously scared other suitors away. Such as your defence, your lack of hitting, and your unwillingness to be hit.

There, there. Don’t cry Marc. I’m sure there’s some other team out there that would want you.

In fact, it’s not you. It’s me. I realize it now. When Andrei dumped me in the first game of the season for a lacerated ankle tendon, I was on the rebound. Anyone with a bit of offensive upside was enough to woo me.

You had 32 points last year, with seven goals and 11 assists with the Wild. The Wild were conservative at the time, the exact opposite of her name. It didn’t feel like the right match, between the two of you.

So I was more than happy to give you a chance.

And at at the beginning, things were great. Two goals and an assist in your first three games. I thought I had found the one that could replace poor Andrei.

But since then, there’s been nothing. No points, no defensive help, no hitting and a -5.

I find I worry about you, but not in a good way. When I saw you poke a puck the other day in such a way you wouldn’t be hit, as opposed to taking the hit and clearing the puck out of the defensive zone, I was worried. You’re softer than a newborn kitten.

You’re supposed to be a powerplay specialist, but you have no powerplay points in your last seven games.

Oh, I’m sorry. I’ve started rambling. This isn’t supposed to be about you. It’s me.

Things just aren’t working out.

I realize now that no one could replace Andrei. It’s just not possible. I’m sorry for all the hope I may have given you.

It’s better we break up now as opposed to in February when Andrei gets back. This way, we won’t be as attached, and it won’t hurt as much.

I’m sorry Marc. It just wasn’t meant to be.

All the best,

The Habs

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One response to “A letter to Marc-Andre Bergeron

  1. Pingback: Habs offseason moves « The Ryan Coke Experience

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