Lots of off news happening around the world in the past few days. Here are a select few:
— Two people set a new Guinness World Record for continous movie watching. Suresh Joachim and Claudia Wavra watched 57 films over 123 hours in a plastic-glass house in New York’s Times Square. The rules state that each movie had to be watched until the end of the credits, and you weren’t allowed to take your eyes off the screen.
To make this a true record, instead of watching movies like Iron Man or Thelma and Louise, they should have had to watch movies like Gigli, Glitter and Battlefield Earth. If they could have watched all of Gigli without rolling their eyes, they’re automatically in the record book.
— A woman in Connecticut sued L’Oreal over the fact that her hair was turned brunette instead of blonde. A judge dismissed the case. The woman, Charlotte Feeney, said says she can never return to blonde, her supposedly natural hair colour. That has traumatized her so much that she needs anti-depressants, and she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention she received as a blond and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.
Okay. This woman must be a natural blonde. If you shave your head, your hair will grow back into its natural colour. Or, you could always dye your hair back! Case closed.
— A man in Quebec is suing Loto-Quebec because he believes he should have won $13.5 million in the Super Seven draw last May. When Joel Ifergan bought his tickets, he was seven seconds past the deadline, and blames the processing delay on the central computer terminal.
Know an easy way to make sure your tickets are in on time? Don’t buy them at the last possible second! Tickets are on sale for days ahead of time. Why wait until the last second?
— The province of Ontario will soon make it so you can say you’re sorry without worrying about being sued. Apparently, next Tuesday, the government will announce the Apology Act. This means doctors, nurses, police, etc. can say they are sorry when they make a mistake, and not worry if the person will sue them because of it.
I would like to take this time to say I’m sorry to anyone I may have hurt.
What’s that? It’s not a law yet.
Oh. In that case, I take it back.