Monthly Archives: July 2009

70 dates in 70 days

So this girl is going across Canada in an attempt to find Mr. Right.

Who wouldnt want 70 dates in 70 days?

Who wouldn't want 70 dates in 70 days?

To do so, she’s going to be spending a week in each Canadian province. In each province, she will have dates with different people (there’s an estimate she’ll have about 70 dates when it’s done).

She blogs (through the Lavalife web site) about each date, letting the world know what she’s up to. Her blog can be found here.

I’m like the idea of her doing something unique, but not for the reasons she’s doing it.

Sarah Rowland, who is 37 years old, wants to find someone to settle down with. That’s why she came up with this idea. If she couldn’t find Mr. Right in her hometown, then surely he must be out there in another place.

Packing up and going across the country sounds fun. And doing it with dates is a unique experience I’m sure not many others have done.

But I’m not sure how she believes she’ll find Mr. Right. If she goes on a date with a guy in Manitoba (who is perfect for her), she still has to finish her journey and go on other dates across the country.

At the end of it, how much will she remember of the coffee date with the guy in Manitoba? Wait, was Mr. Right the banker who like baseball, or was it the accountant who hated baseball?

The other funny part about her blog is the fact she says that everyone will stay anonymous, with no real names being used. But pictures are posted of her dates.

The funniest was this one: “I dated yet another Saint John man who wishes to remain anonymous due to his high-profile job, which is fine. I can respect that. So I can’t give out too many deets.” But there’s a photo there!

Anyways, she’s almost done. She’s in Halifax now, and only has St. John’s left. If she meets the man of her dreams there, I wonder if she’ll move to the rock from Vanouver to be with him.

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No Megan Fox Day?

So it seems like people are getting sick of Megan Fox.

August 4 will apparently be Megan Fox Media Blackout Day.

August 4 will apparently be Megan Fox Media Blackout Day.

Not sure why. She didn’t ask to be photographed ad naseum and asked every question under the sun about her sexuality.

But a bunch of men’s web site are going to remove Megan Fox from their database for the day of August 4.

None of this makes any sense to me. Asylum.com, Ask Men, Just a Guy Thing, TheBachelorGuy.com and Double Viking will not have any photos of the Transformers star, as they celebrate Megan Fox media blackout day.

But in a story about the day is this quote:

Eric Rogell of TheBachelorGuy.com wants to shine the spotlight on a different young starlet, at least for a brief moment – but still admitted Megan has done wonders for his company.

Im declaring August 4 as Megan Fox Day.

I'm declaring August 4 as Megan Fox Day.

“Listen, we love Megan. She’s responsible for driving more eyeballs to our sites — just by getting photographed walking down the street in a white T-shirt — than any other celeb alive,” he told the paper. “It’s time to give another young actress a shot at the attention. We’re taking a one-day break from covering Megan’s latest nail polish color and instead promoting another ‘Next Big Thing.’”

I’m sorry. What?

The woman is responsible for more people visiting your site than any one else, which means more ad revenue and the fact that the people who work there get paid, and you want to blacklist her for a day? None of this makes any sense.

I think we should do the opposite. So I’m declaring August 4 Megan Fox Day. Check back here next Tuesday for the celebrations of all things Fox-y.

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Swimsuits too technical?

So there’s been a lot of debate in the swimming world lately about the swimsuits some athletes are wearing.

This cant be Michael Phelps swimming in one of those bodysuits that he is so against, can it?

This can't be Michael Phelps swimming in one of those bodysuits that he is so against, can it?

Apparently, this high-tech swimsuit allows swimmers to go so fast, no record is safe.

The governing body of swimming will be banning these things next year.

And I think it’s a stupid idea.

Sure, there’s a lot of people upset about suits, but most of them seem to be fans of Michael Phelps, who can’t wear one of these suits because of a sponsor deal. But he chose to sign that deal, so he can’t complain. It would be like a skater signing a deal with Bauer for hockey skates, and then wanting to switch to Nike skates because every one else is wearing one. Tough. You signed the contract, you live up to it.

Here’s a link to Phelps promoting his bodysuit, which they call the fastest in the world. Here’s a few more about his suit, which was actually designed by NASA scientists: here and here. Is it fair that Phelps bodysuit, which he used to break world records and win eight Olympic gold medals, was never a problem until he started to lose when his competitors wore similar ones?

Besides, Phelps has done everything he could to get the advantage. He wears two swimming caps instead of one because he believes it helps. 

Wait, is this another photo of Phelps wearing one of these suits? I guess its only a bad thing if hes not winning.

Wait, is this another photo of Phelps wearing one of these suits? I guess it's only a bad thing if he's not winning.

It’s only when Phelps started losing and his records were broken people kicked up a fuss (by the way, read this article, and tell me Phelps doesn’t come off as one of the biggest whiners and sore losers you’ll see, especially when his coach says Phelps might now swim again until the ban next year. Suck it up, princess.).

But this is the evolution of sports. It’s like when NHL players started using composite sticks a few years back. It makes them shoot faster and harder, but there was no outcry to ban them.

Back in the 1990s, Wayne Gretzky played with an aluminum stick. Again, no outcry.

There are countless new shoes, skates and uniforms designed to make an athlete faster and better.

This swimwear is the latest. Banning it is sheer foolishness.

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Make up your own NHL trade rumours

I touched upon this last week, but trade rumours should be left to the professionals.

And they don’t come any more unprofessional than Eklund.

The guy makes up NHL trade rumours left and right (he’s almost as bad as Bruce Garrioch of the Ottawa Sun).

It’s to the point that he could have a serious, plausible trade, and no one would believe him.

But there’s a great web site out there where you can be Eklund. It’s found here and is a great laugh.

Here are some example of trades:

“According to sources within the Boston Bruins organisation, the Toronto Maple Leafs are willing to part with LW Alexei Ponikarovsky, a 3rd round pick and D Tomas Kaberle to obtain the services of C Patrice Bergeron.”

“According to sources within the Minnesota Wild organisation, the Edmonton Oilers are willing to part with D Sheldon Souray, RW Ales Hemsky to obtain the services of C Mikko Koivu.”

“According to sources within the Detroit Red Wings organisation, the Tampa Bay Lightning are willing to part with C Vincent Lecavalier to obtain the services of C Henrik Zetterberg.”

“According to sources within the Calgary Flames organisation, the New York Islanders are willing to part with C Andy Hilbert and C Doug Weight to obtain the services of G Mikka Kiprusoff.”

“According to sources within the San Jose Sharks organisation, the New York Islanders are willing to part with G Rick DiPietro, C Doug Weight and RW Trent Hunter to obtain the services of C Joe Thornton.”

You get the idea. The players haven’t been updated, so you get some out of date “possible” trades, but it’s still a good laugh.

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Michael Vick should be allowed to play football

So the NFL announced yesterday it will allow Michael Vick to play football in the league after he serves a six-game suspension. 

Michael Vick

Michael Vick is suspended for six games.

 

While there are many people who disagree with this, I think it’s a good decision.

What Vick did was wrong. But he served his time in jail and his time in the public eye.

But he deserves to make a living. And football is what he knows. It’s what he’s best at.

Despite only being in the league for six years or so, Vick set many records for quarterbacks. He’s one of the most talents players at that position that we’ve seen in the past 10 years or so.

Some team will take a chance on him. When they do, they won’t deserve to be vilified the way that they will be.

I understand that what Vick was a horrible thing. But I wonder where the outcry was 10 years ago, when Leonard Little killed someone while drinking and driving, had 90 days in jail and an eight-game suspension.

Or for Ray Lewis, who was charged with murder, but pleaded down to obstruction of justice in return for his testimony. He wasn’t suspended at all.

Or for Randy Moss, who alledgely knocked over a traffic cop with his car, received no suspension.

Many say Vick shouldn’t be allowed to play because of the fact NFL players are role models. But look at all the NFL players that have been caught drinking and driving, setting up drug deals or spying on other teams.

The NFL is not the place to look for role models. That is something that should start at home, not the sports field.

Vick made a mistake, got caught, served his time and can now play football.

Who are we to stop him from making a living?

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Top movie of the 2000s

ESPN writer Bill Simmons had an interesting column today.

Is Almost Famous the defining movie of the 2000s? One columnist believes so.

Is Almost Famous the defining movie of the 2000s? One columnist believes so.

At the beginning, he explained what he thought the top movie of this decade is. It had to meet three criteria:

• Excellence

• Originality

• Rewatchability

He then used quotes from that movie to explain this summer in the NBA (the column falls flat here, I think).

Anyways, his choice was Almost Famous. While he gives good enough reasons, I can’t help but believe there are other movies that would better define this decade (as the best movie of the decade should).

I decided there must be other films better than that. So I decided to try to come up with five others.

Remember, these aren’t necessarily my favourite movies, but just the ones I thought would define this decade the best.

So with that, here are my top 5 movies of the 2000s.

Is Superbad the most defining movie of the 2000s? This blogger says yes, sadly.

Is Superbad the most defining movie of the 2000s? This blogger says yes, sadly.

5) The Lord of the Rings trilogy: I decided to lump these three together because it would be too hard to pick and choose one or two over the other. While it gets point for excellence and rewatchability, it loses points for originality, since it was based on the books.

4) Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Re-defined the martial arts genre for a while. Gets points for creativity and excellence, but loses points on rewatchability. I think a straight-forward martial arts film would stand the test of time more than watching the special effects fights in this film.

3) Kill Bill: Again, I included both films in this one. It upped the violence found in a lot of movies, and gave an interesting premise. Instead of the man bent of revenge, it was a kick-ass woman. Each fight scene was great, but I don’t think there’s ever a point where you’ll sit down, see this film on TV, and want to watch it for one specific scene, so it loses a little on the rewatchabililty criterion.

2) Wall-E: Cute movie, that both kids and adults love. Not a lot of dialogue, but keeps you interested. It’s creative, original, and can be rewatched. But should a cartoon be the defining movie of a decade? That’s debateable, but this movie comes close.

1) Superbad: You could almost put any other comedy movie of the past five years in this spot (Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Wedding Crashers, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, etc.). Superbad was definitely excellent, and was original. The rewatchability of it is still up in the air, but I think there would be times if I flipping through the channels, and this movie was on, I would stop to watch it.

Conclusion: Could these movies beat out Almost Famous as top movie of the decade? I think Wall-E and Superbad could, but the other three couldn’t.

I just found it sad that there is no one movie that jumps out from this decade. The 1990s had Saving Private Ryan, The Matrix, The Sixth Sense, Forrest Gump and Titanic, and probably a dozen others.

So what happened to the 2000s?

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Worst WWE champions of all time

The WWE’s Night of Champions pay per view is coming up later tonight.

Batista has won many different championships. For which one is he the worst?

Batista has won many different championships. For which one is he the worst?

For those who don’t follow wrestling, it’s a night where every title in the organization is contested (yes, even the ECW title).

Because of this, I’ve noticed a few websites have been giving listings of the greatest champion of each belt. I thought I would something similar. But instead of the best champion, I thought it would be better to decide who was the worst champion for each belt.

As a heads up, this is just a personal reflection. I also included only WWE champions, even if the belt came from WCW or ECW (just because I didn’t follow those organizations enough to make a educated choice).

Besides the current belts, I also include a few retired belts.

Worst WWE Champion: Batista. I’ll admit, I may be a little biased here. I never liked him that much. I don’t see the appeal. He doesn’t have many good matches, he’s not very good on the microphone, and his book sucked. And he was only champion for a day.

Miss Kitty was the worst womens champion.

Miss Kitty was the worst women's champion.

WWE Women’s Championship: Miss Kitty. This was a toss up, because there were some brutal women’s champions over the years. But I think I have to go with Miss Kitty (just narrowly edging out Candice Michelle). She couldn’t wrestle, and was too small to have any good matches. But she wrestled at a time when the title was fought in swimming pool matches and pillow fight matches.

Light Heavyweight Championship: Gillberg. He’s the longest reigning champion in this category, but that’s because they basically retired the title for a year. The title was hotly contested when it first came in, but once they gave it to Gillberg, that was it.

ECW championship: Vince McMahon. While McMahon has won two of the three main titles, this is the one where he deserves the least credit. The other one was part of a great storyline with HHH, where he gave up the title after winning it. Here, he kept the title for a few months. When I think of ECW champions (even in the WWE), there were some good ones, so giving it to Vince was one of the worst moves.

Hardcore Championship: Billy Gunn. This one was tricky. Because of all the crazy stipulations, a lot of people have held this title. In fact, several wrestlers have held it more than 20 times (Raven leads the pack with 27 title wins, but only held the title for a total of 100 days). Four different women have held the title, including one of the Godfather’s ho’s. But I decided to go with Billy Gunn. When his tag team partner Road Dogg was champion, he made the title mean something, and put on some quality matches. But when I think of Billy Gunn, I don’t think of hardcore, and I don’t remember any of his hardcore matches.

WWE  United States Championship: Orlando Jordan. The guy was never that great a wrestler. His matches were dull. He never spoke well, and he never had any memorable feuds. Except for when he lost the title. After losing the title, he lost three consecutive matches to Chris Benoit, all lasting under a minute. That’s a great former champion.

Maryse is the worst Diva champion, but to be fair, theres only been two.

Maryse is the worst Diva champion, but to be fair, there's only been two.

WWE Divas Championship: Maryse. There’s only been two Divas champions, because the belt is pretty new. So I decided to use her so I could run the photo on the right.

WWE Cruiserweight championship: Hornswoggle. Usually the cruiserweight champion can put on great matches, flying through the air with the greatest of ease. Or they’re able to pull off complicated spots. But not Hornwoggle. Why they gave him the title (and then retire the belt, making him the last ever champion for this belt), I’ll never know.

WWE Intercontinenal Champion: Albert. I liked the guy enough as a wrestler, for what he was. But this title is supposed to be one step down from the main belt. You’re supposed to believe that he could make a run for the heavyweight title if he wanted to, or was one step removed from doing so. Just look at past champions like Bret The Hitman Hart, Randy Macho Man Savage, The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, etc. But you never thought that with Albert.

WWE Tage Team Championship: Rene Dupree and Kenzo Suzuki. Dupree could never get over with the crowd. Suzuki lasted only a year with the federation. They were a thrown-together tag team, and split up just as fast.

European Championship: Mideon. They guy won the title not by defeating anyone, but because he found the retired belt in Shane McMahon’s wrestling bag. He held the title for 34 days before losing it.  

World Tag Team Champions: The Godwinns. There’s been a lot of bad tage team champions over the years. But the Godwinns were probably the worst. They never held the title for long, and were champions in probably one of the most boring times for tag teams. This also makes Mideon a double winner in this list.

 World Heavyweight Champion: The Great Khali. Enough said.

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Odd sex news

It’s Friday, the end of a long week.

Who knew an ad about sausages could contain so much inuendo?

Who knew an ad about sausages could contain so much innuendo?

So let’s have a little fun with some odd news stories from the past week, all relating to the topic of sex, from different parts of the world.

• In London, England, there’s been some complaints about an ad for Mattesons smoked sausages. In the ad, the ad offers a little bit of innuendo.

It said: “Think about all the things you can stick this tasty, extraordinarily large sausage in. Mmm… Pizza, pasta, stir fry. You have any ideas? Give me a call and tell me where you like to stick it.”

Apparently, asking people where they like to stick their sausage isn’t appropriate, at least for 21 people. That’s how many complained about the commercial.

The people who make the sausages, Kerry Foods, thinks they did nothing wrong. The Advertising Standards Authority agrees, and while they said the ad wasn’t sexually explicit, it’s not allowed to be on the air when children might be listening.

• In Saudi Arabia, Mazen Abdul Jawad was arrested for bragging about sex. In a show on a Lebanese television station, Jawad talked about his conquests, the first time he had sex, etc.

No matter what this book tells you, be careful when you brag.

No matter what this book tells you, be careful when you brag.

But apparently, that’s against the law there. So much so, that 100 people filed a complaint. According to a Yahoo story:

“Jawad could face charges under Saudi Arabia’s strict Islamic sharia law of speaking openly about vice and admitting he engaged in pre-marital sex, it said, adding that if convicted he could be jailed and flogged.”

Could you imagine being jailed and flogged for talking about sex?

• And finally, there’s a story about a drought in India that is so severe, farmers are sending their unwed daughters out to plow the fields while naked.

Their hope is the weather gods will be embarrassed by this, and cause it to rain.

Hopefully, the weather gods aren’t heterosexual males, or else they’ll never get any rain.

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Leave the rumours to the professionals

I know a lot of people like to make up NHL trade rumours. It’s one of the main reasons fans follow teams.

Could Dany Heatley end up as a San Jose Shark?

Could Dany Heatley end up as a San Jose Shark?

No matter which team you support, you always believe they can be better. Maybe a certain superstar is available. Or maybe you have a top prospect in the system that another team covets.

But if you’re going to debate trade rumours, at least make them feasible for all teams. There’s nothing worse than reading unrealistic trade rumours.

If you make up a trade, and everyone on a certain side says to do the trade, it’s generally a bad trade.

For example, Christos at Christo’s Corner, came up with a three-team deal involving the Montreal Canadiens, Ottawa Senators and San Jose Sharks.

His trade?

To Ottawa: Jonathan Cheechoo, Tomas Plekanec, Christian Ehrhoff

To Montreal: Patrick Marleau, Ott 2nd round pick 2010, Ottawa 5th round pick 2011

To San Jose: Dany Heatley, Jaroslav Halak, Ryan O’Byrne

When he posted on a Montreal Canadiens’ Facebook group, most of the Habs’ fans said it was great. But that usually means the deal was one-sided. Of course, the Habs’ fans are going to say it was great. They get a top-line centre, and a second round draft pick, and only has to give up a young underachieving centre that will be a free agent next summer, a backup goalie that will be a free agent next summer and a good young defenceman.

A trade that would allow Patrick Marleau to be a Montreal Canadien and screw over Ottawa at the same time? Where do we sign up?

A trade that would allow Patrick Marleau to be a Montreal Canadien and screw over Ottawa at the same time? Where do we sign up?

But what happens if you’re a Sens fan? Why would Ottawa want Cheechoo (a player whose goals and points have declined every single year for the past four years, to the point he had 12 goals and 29 points last year)?

Why would Ottawa want Plekanec, a guy who will be a free agent next summer and had 39 points last year?

And why would the Sens wants Erhoff, a defenceman, when they already have eight defencemen on the roster?

While it would be nice to have Marleau in Montreal, the Sens would never make this deal. They would have to give up a 50-goal scorer in Heatley, a second rounder and a fifth rounder for two players that wouldn’t be able to crack their first two lines and a defenceman they don’t have room for. No way they make that trade.

If you’re going to make up trades, try to make them plausible.

(Note: Christos has since updated his trade to it make it more even, but it still doesn’t make sense from an Ottawa point of view. His new trade is:

To Ottawa:Cheechoo, Plekanec, Ehrhoff, Montreal’s 3rd round pick in 2010

To Montreal:Marleau, San Jose’s 2nd round pick in 2010

To San Jose:Heatley, Halak, Jason Smith, Montreal’s 4th round pick in 2010 and 5th round pick in 2011)

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Make it 7? How about, make it 5?

When Jim Basillie wanted to buy the Phoenix Coyotes and move the team to Hamilton, a web site popped up in support called Make it Seven.

Its time to send the Toronto Maple Leafs to the AHL.

It's time to send the Toronto Maple Leafs to the AHL.

The point was to show support for the bid, and the fact Canada needs a seventh NHL team in Canada. It’s now turned into a fundraising website for minor hockey.

There’s another web site in the same vein: Make it Five. Basically, in an effort to make the Toronto Maple Leafs more competitive, the web site asks to move the team to the AHL, the minor league.

The site goes on to say that French-Canadian businessman Roger Jolie wants to buy the Leafs and move them to the American Hockey League.

“Toronto has always been patient with their NHL franchise, but it’s time to do what’s best for Canada. Move them to the AHL.

We think it would be good for Toronto’s local economy, as a wide range of businesses, organizations and causes that would be supported by a strong NHL franchise in Toronto would no longer have to suffer in agony.”

I think this is a brilliant idea. Maybe the Leafs could win the cup someday soon. Of course, I’m talking about the Calder Cup, not the Stanley Cup. They’d also have a better shot of making the playoffs as well, something they haven’t done in four years.

Chant along with me: Make it five! Make it five! Make it five!

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